So I sat down awhile ago to write this. Thought long and hard about what the first post back should be. Wrote this whole thing on changing your life through daily steps and goal writing. Talked about how God being at the forefront of every decision would always ensure success but not negate the trials that would come.
Didn’t post it.
Wasn’t connected to it.
If you follow me on social media then you saw that there was supposed to be this post Saturday but nothing was there.
Because truth is, the changes ahead aren’t all calculated risk and prayer manifestations.
The truth is the change that’s coming. The one that’s been brewing for some time, really starts with me being unapologetic in my approach.
The reality is that I’m going to take up space. I wasn’t created to be this meek and mild bystander of life, but instead this courageous fighter who skillfully equipped navigates through life messily, but authentically.
There’s something more that I’m supposed to be doing and that at 32, I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t know all the answers but I do know that I’m going to start again.
Start with a fresh approach. A fresh self perspective. A fresh ambitious spirit. A fresh determination. A fresh mind.
And most importantly, a forgiving spirit.
The first person I forgive is me.
I forgive myself for doubting my abilities and talents. For wasting time wondering what if and over analyzing every step. For settling and almost giving up on everything my heart desired because the tangible things I see didn’t match the vision and purpose I so fervently prayed for. For wishing life was different but not making the necessary changes to ensure life anew would come into fruition. For learning lessons and not applying them. For letting up on who I was to coddle and nurture insecurities instead of continuing to shine and inspire. For all the negative narratives that play in my head daily, while God’s voice becomes a distant, disconnected whisper.
I forgive myself for counting me out way before my time to quit.
So there are a lot of changes coming. Some I’m prepared for and others, I will battle and embrace them as they come.
But as I brace myself for impact, I smile, because the changes ahead are leading me to living my life to the fullest.